Friday, February 18, 2011

It's exhausting

Warning - this post will probably be pointless and meandering.  I'm just thinking with my fingers at the end of a long day (week).

I think I've signed my name 379 times this week.  I wish I could say that a bunch of people out there want my autograph.

No, it's just permission slips and school planners and reading logs and field trip forms and, and, and.... There is so much.  Just so much.

"Mom, will you.." 
"Mom, have you had a chance to.."
"Mom, I need..."
"Mom, can I..."

I am feeling particularly overwhelmed right now.  I wish I could say there was a reason.  There isn't.  It's not a crazy time of year.  It's just life.  I better get used to the new normal, eh?  I distinctly remember about a year or two ago (maybe when Rosebud was born?) when I realized how busy we were becoming and how it all felt out of my control.  Oh how I wish I could remember my mom at this stage and see how she juggled it all.

My kids aren't even in any sports right now.  So it's only school and scouts and church and home that's simmering on our stove.  I can't cut out any programs.  There isn't anything to drop.

I have kept up on laundry and my bedroom lately but the rest of the rooms are suffering.  They are on the kids' chore lists but all they have time for is homework it seems.  The chores are barely getting a half effort before they dash off to a meeting or to find their book to get required reading minutes. 

Anybody else with gradeschoolers up to their neck in assignments?  At 5, 8, 11 years?  My goodness.  I really don't think all this is necessary or even healthy.  On the rare occasion that we want to go somewhere as a family, or even have a decent Family Home Evening, we have to ask each about their homework and see who can even spare an hour or get up early the next day to finish what they won't have time for.  It's ridiculous.

Anyway, I'm pooped!  We cleaned and beautified our room a couple weeks ago; thank heavens!!  It's my only respite.  I go in there at the end of the day and collapse on that pretty bed. I have tried to make my prayers more sincere and meaningful - I need His help more and more.  I can no longer be reactive in my parenting in a large busy family.  I have to decide things in advance, I have to plan to a T, I have to parent with purpose and objective - or we're not going to make it. 

It used to be that it was easy to tell who needed my attention the most or what kid to focus on. Now I have to be way more conscious of each one.  They are getting older and need me approaching them more to get deep into their feelings.  It's mindblowing how much work it is!  You experiencd mothers reading this are definitely laughing at this point.  I'm thick skulled, I guess.  This is so hard.  One day at a time, one day at a time.  I keep reading the scripture at the top of my blog: Be not weary in well doing....

Oh, and Strider is going to start coaching again next week.  Soccer this time.  Buckle up, folks!

To remind myself that time passes quickly and it will all be a blur if I don't smell the roses, here is Rosebud at four months:


  1. I really needed to read this. I feel so overwhelmed (and don't even have a clean room to go to). It's nice to know there's others feeling the same. Although not so nice knowing that it only gets worse as my kids get bigger. Thanks.

  2. I'm so glad I'm not the oldest. You get to experience this now so you can help me in 10 years. Love you. :-)

  3. I definitely feel the craziness. I remember thinking 'When they get older it will be much easier...' That was a rose colored vision. I long for the ease of the conversations, every detail they wanted to share about their lives when they were little. Now it comes in tearful floods or constant prodding. I love being a mother and know that 'WE CAN DO THIS!' I agree with you planning and having a prayer in your heart is the most important thing. Hang in there!

  4. Amen to everything said. It never gets easier, just different. My baby will be in Kindergarten in 6 months. People ask me what I am going to do with all of my time....are you kidding me. 4 kids in school (2 different schools, and 1 at half day) then young womans, scouts, activity days, PTA, my RS calling, dance, baseball....oh and dad is in the Bishopric, working full time, and going to school full time. It will never be time for me to work outside the home. I am the CEO of OUR home :)

  5. I am giggling a little, but only because I feel your pain and laughing is better than crying. My only advice is to try and enjoy the ride. Its crazy, hectic and even insane but then you turn around and one by one they are leaving home.
    Having older kids can have its rewards too. Built in babysitters, adult (somewhat) conversations, games and activities (that don't include shutes and ladders!) and as an added bounus their, games, performances etc are actually entertaining.
    Pray, pray, pray, calendar, celendar, calendar and then go with the flow. You are going to do great!!!


Thanks for sharing your thoughts!