Thursday, May 26, 2011

Overworked and underpaid

I ran around all day today doing things for others.  And I don't think anyone even cared.

My day:

7:00 - woke up (this is late for me, usually 6)
7:30 - beg girls to please get ready for errands earlier than normal.  Check hours for Scout Shop.  Open at 9 - sweet!
8:00 - decide to take Bugs to school (he has to be there early for safety patrol) because today is his band concert and he hates carrying his heavy saxophone.  I'm nice like that.
8:15 - tell Jedi to come too, and he can just eat breakfast at school instead of walking alone in 15 minutes
8:30 - run to Walmart to get Goo Gone and red icing.  It's scouts tonight and I have to remove some patches I put on a shirt with stupid Badge Magic and Goo Gone is recommened. Red icing in case I have time for baseball cupcakes.  More on those later.
9:00 - go to the Scout Shop all the way in Sandy
9:05 - one of the things I need is sold at another counter in the Scout Shop (huh?) and they don't get there till 10.  You're kidding.  She agrees to sell me one on their behalf if I have cash.  I surprisingly have enough.  Catastrophe averted.
9:30 - I am near my favorite store, Tai Pan Trading, so I stop in for their tent event sale.  Rosebud is pitching a fit and won't stay in the cart.  Everyone is staring (or at least it feels that way). 
10 - scoutmaster texts me to pick up something for the troop.  I'm still in Sandy, so back to the Scout Shop.  I'm nice like that.
10:15 - I grab what I need but they tell me their computers just went down. REALLY? Girls are acting crazy.  Rosebud is in underwear and I'm shocked no accident yet.
10:30 - everything up and running and we finish.
11 - home, potty the baby, feed the girls lunch, attack scout shirt patch problem which takes forever, and then it must be laundered separately.  I wash it alone and get out the next kid's scout shirt.  Realize he also needs the newest rank badge sewn on. I see lots of dirty spots so I wash it in a small load as well.  Hang them each to dry.
12:30 - Princess to Kindergarten.  Off to the dry cleaners to take Strider and Potter's suits that I forgot to take with me this morning when I went near there to Walmart.  Grr.  Prices have gone up $2 for suits.  Of course they have.
1:00 - Rosebud asleep so I indulge in a rare fast food drive-through lunch. Mmmm.
1:30 - make cupcakes for Strider.  He wants to do a special treat for the final game.  I didn't mind doing them, but told him didn't know if I'd have time.  Well, I found the time to bake them.  Decorate later?  Hope so.
2:00 - shirts still not dry.  Hmm.  When to sew new badges on? I chill on the computer for a bit before needing to leave.
2:30 - Rosebud still asleep but we need to leave soon for Bugs' band concert.  Gather her shoes, water, snack, toy. 
2:45 - take bawling Rosebud to Potter's school so we can pick him up and have him join us for the concert (she hates to be woken up).  I told him in the morning he'd have to hurry out to the van - I'd be waiting because the concert is at 3:00.
2:55 - Potter finally shows up. I lecture him for being incosiderate of others' time.
3:00 - send Potter into the school ahead of me to run Bugs his tie that he asked me to bring him for the performance.
3:01 - get Rosebud out of her carseat and see that I forgot to bring her shoes.  What the??  Oh Geez.  Throw her on my hip and hurry.
3:40 - concert over, I send Potter up to the stage to offer to take Bugs' instrument home for him.  I'm nice like that.  He says no - he's fine.  Um, kay.
4:05  - Bugs storms into the house and asks why we didn't take his sax home for him?  Excuse me?  Obvious misunderstanding there.
4:30 - decorate cupcakes to looks like baseballs with the player names on them. Jedi comes in and looks over my shoulder.  Says, "oh, are those for my game?" and walks back outside.  Not the reaction I was going for.
4:45 - Strider home early.  Nice surprise.  I ask him how the cupcakes look and he says they are nice and 'are there any drink boxes to take with them?'.  I don't know, babe.  Go look.  Rosebud wants to go out and play so I ask Bugs to go out with her.  He complains and tells me all the reasons why he can't.
5:00 - I sew the needed patches on both spiffy, clean shirts.  Neither boy mentions anything.  Strider is up in the room and I call for help with feeding the family, but apparently he doesn't hear.
5:30 - I go make supper as kids continue to grab snacks from the pantry.  I wonder why I'm even doing this; I know they won't eat.  But I get the grumpy girls by myself at scouts, so I know they will be monsters unless they eat a little.
6:00 - I ask for help getting a few things ready.  No one hears me.  Boys are bickering.  Princess refuses to set the table and is mad that she is coming to the scout court of honor instead of baseball.

I'm done.  I head to the bedroom to clear my head and tell Strider the meal is ready.

7:00 - Bugs earns his Tenderfoot Scout rank.  Some of the sting of the day is gone, although my heart is sad that I'm missing Jedi's final game.

I love being part of these milestones and the days that matter.  Is it wrong to want more appreciation for the little stuff that is behind the scenes of the big stuff? 

I don't think I'm only doing it for the thank-yous.  I do enjoy serving my family.  But man, I worked hard today and instead of feeling the joy of service, I feel resentment.  I need to define/work through/figure out this whole charity thing while making sure it feels more balanced around here. 

Anybody else get the I-bet-no-one-would-survive-without-me-around-here blues??


  1. Amen!!
    When I think I'm the only one doing things (making supper, cleaning, putting kids to bed) and don't expect any help, than I'm not so resentful and I feel better about i all. (still stinks though- some thanks would be nice).
    You did a lot in one day- wow- I'm impressed.
    And I think those cupcakes are AWESOME!!!!

  2. I am also a fan of those cupcakes! And I hear you. I only have one kid in ballet and one in Tball and I often feel ragged - you are reminding me what ragged can be! Rock star, Jen, really! Mostly I feel this way about cleaning the house, making the food, and teaching seminary....especially seminary. I spend my evenings and nights cleaning my house and getting the lesson ready instead of relaxing with my hubby. Then I get up at 4/4:30 to get showered and ready for 5:45am seminary. And there are many days those sweet youth act like they are doing ME a favor by coming to my house for seminary!

    In other news, I may just have been a bit trunky. Today was our last seminary day for the year and I was feeling so sad that it is over! Just like you said, I really do love serving in my family and my callings, but I have days like that too. Sometimes we just need to feel a glimmer of appreciation!

  3. I think you are very justified in your feelings. No, we don't need to praised for every single thing we do, but it'd be nice sometimes. Especially when have a crazy busy/productive day. You are awesome. And those cupcakes really are the coolest

  4. Great job on the cupcakes!

  5. Whenever I'm muttering under my breath about being taken for granted it occurs to me that I can't remember a single time before I was 20 or so that I ever truly thanked my mother for anything. When I did it was probably a casual gesture after the fact that I threw out without really thinking about it. I don't think I truly honestly appreciated anything she did for me before I had kids of my own. I just sort of expected it as my due. My mother would probably call it payback if I ever told her this.

  6. Ditto! I think every stay-at-home mom can relate with this post. I KNOW that without me my boys/hubby would starve, stink, miss appts & activities, flunk out of school, and sit in a house of filth....but I wish THEY knew it too. It's all too often a thankless job, but there's always those special "aha" moments that seem to make it all worth sounds like you're due for one of those moments ASAP! Cupcakes look great and I think you're fantastic!

  7. I feel that way all the time! Ryan doesn't understand that I work 7 hours a day, do all the laundry, the house cleaning, the errand running, taking the kids to school, etc. Most days it doesn't bother me either, but there are some days when I want to say, "Hello!?!?! Do you even see me and know I'm here?" You're amazing Jen and there is nothing wrong with wanting a little support from your girlfriends! :)

  8. Hi Jen, I think SO many of us can relate. After I read your blog, I listened to this song and thought of you. It only has a sample of the song, but I hope it will help you feel better that what you are doing is worth it, even if you don't get the recognition for it.
    If that link doesn't work, then look for the song, "Who You Are" by Hilary Weeks on the "Women of Destiny" CD.


Thanks for sharing your thoughts!